He said, she said: Gender communications at the office

With all that has been written and discussed about gender communications, some things stay the same even in the 21st century. Gender bias and miscommunication still exists. Most everyone works with colleagues across the gender boundary, which makes understanding gender communications even more important than ever. Effective communication between genders in the workplace can lead to improved employee satisfaction and relations, reduced legal risks and increased productivity.

Deep roots
At a young age, individuals hear words to describe males and females that influence their perception of the genders. Familiar phrases, such as "strong, silent type" and "women's intuition" have messages that people use as an evaluation to determine whether someone is acting according to their gender. This seemingly benign language can influence decisions about whether a male or female is more suitable for certain behaviors. (Source: Communication and the Sexes, Barbara Bate and Judy Bowker, Waveland Press, November 1996.)

Within the workplace setting, all employees want to feel valued and respected with opportunities to learn and grow. A major study at the University of Wisconsin found that "men and women are basically alike in terms of personality, cognitive ability and leadership." The study also reported that the behavior of both males and females is strongly influenced by its context or setting. It's the socialization of learning to act in certain ways that can carry into the workplace. (Source: "The Gender Similarities Hypothesis," Janet Shibley Hyde, Ph.D., University of Wisconsin - Madison; American Psychologist, Vol. 60, No. 6.)

From red flags to white
How individuals are socialized within genders can sometimes result in destructive and negative behavior that may or may not be obvious to the employees involved. Ceridian LifeWorks consultants Mary Rekuski and Donna Wehrmeister help clients identify the cause of breakdowns in communication.

Rekuski often talks with managers about behavior patterns such as blaming, inappropriate jokes, rumors and gossip within a work team. Wehrmeister says that problems with communication may involve misinterpreted motives, lack of communication, failure to understand alternative perspectives, secrecy and deception, as well as inflammatory statements that escalate conflicts.

Sometimes the unproductive conflicts can be turned into productive conflicts. Unproductive conflicts often occur when the real issues are not being communicated. People may use jokes, sarcasm, denial and blame to express themselves. In contrast, productive conflict can be positive when there is an open approach to communication. People can feel equally heard, respected and unafraid to voice dissenting opinions to reach a mutually comfortable resolution.

Legal ramifications
The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) Web site provides a clear definition of Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which protects individuals against employment discrimination. The act also states that the workplace should be without conditions that create a hostile environment for persons of either gender, including same sex harassment.

In recent years, sex and gender communications lawsuits have been filed against high-profile companies, such as United Airlines, Costco and Wal-Mart. Enron is also a high-profile example of a hostile work environment. Sherron Watkins, a former vice president of the company, testified that the workplace became increasingly more hostile and she feared for her personal safety and that of her family. At trial, the Enron defense described Watkins as a troublemaker who was criticized for being overly aggressive and prone to miscommunication. (Source: Enron's whistle blower details sinking ship," CNN Money.com, March 16, 2006)

Would the comment from the Enron defense about Watkins' "aggressiveness" have been brought up had it not been for her gender? According to Wehrmeister, it is important to remember that there is no such thing as an absolute or unconditional female or male behavior. However, studies do show some emerging traits associated with each gender, such as those in the following communication style overview:

• Men talk to give or report information. Women talk to collect information or gain rapport.
• Men talk about things (business, sports, food). Women talk about people.
• Men focus on facts, reason and logic. Women focus on feelings, senses and meaning.
• Men thrive on competing and achieving. Women thrive on harmony and relating.
• Men "know" by analyzing and figuring out. Women "know" by intuiting.
• Men are more assertive. Women are more cooperative.
• Men seek intellectual understanding. Women are able to empathize.
• Men are focused, specific and logical. Women are holistic, organic and "wide-angle."
• Men are comfortable with order, rules and structure. Women with fluidity.
• Men want to think. Women want to feel.

(Source: www.itstime.com/mar2005.htm)

Focus on the positive
When considering gender communications, remember that the ultimate goal in the workplace is to contribute to a successful organization and that variety can add richness. Managers need to be aware of potential issues and encourage employees to attend training programs that stress understanding differences and improving communications.

"Within the workplace, it's important to appreciate and be aware of differences so we can better establish and maintain relationships internally with coworkers and externally with clients," says Wehrmeister. "With this in mind, we can continue advancing in a constantly evolving business world by improving quality and productivity within the American workplace."

Gender communication represents one of the dynamics in the workforce population and it shouldn't be addressed in isolation. Other dynamics include culture and age differences, which can also contribute to gender communications issues. With the potential for differences, the future path of gender communications will be challenging. "Gender is an intrinsic part of who we are," says Rekuski. "How we address each other, interact verbally and nonverbally, and resolve conflict can help us to either thrive or struggle."

Contact your Ceridian representative to learn how Ceridian's Employee Assistance Program, and Ceridian Management Line in particular, can give your managers access to an objective sounding board for employee relations issues.